Sporntaneity

Can of worms, l et's open it once in a while. Smartly, slowly. Not to let the worms out and run haywire but to embrace the mayhem. Let everyone shout, Let everyone listen. Let it play out. Have faith. Not as easy as all of this may sound. Us humans can seem hard, even life. It isn't. Take a moment. Understand things. The world is complex. Inside us and outside. No rules apply. Except for love and intuition. See things in the best way, for yourself and those around you. Together, not single, your singularity is such. It takes one of us, to make one of us and it can be anyone one of us as we are but one. -26/12/17

Forever grateful, for all that I find,  some-days I rhyme in anger, other days I find reason, after giving some time. Alone we are in this journey, all of us, fighting our own wars. Lucky the ones among us who find, someone to call their own. Someone to make memories of time with Whatever god you may believe in, loves you or if you chose not to believe in a god at all. There is something divine about our will. We may never decipher it. That isn't our purpose. But to act through this divinity and let the divine act through us  is all. We can only give, solve, love and laugh. May we be reminded,  of this light inside of us, for whenever it gets dark. -Gratitude. Christmas Eve, London 2018

I don't want to say another word. Just to make you stick around. I don't want to listen to you talking. I don't mind listening to you speak. I don't want to make you uncomfortable nor do I want to help your comfort. Why do you make an 'I' out of me? why can't I be nothing, as I usually am? If we felt special together, if we do use each others time, each others lives, Can't you just let me be ? As I love to let you be. Why are you so scared ? That you need to hold on. and do things. Let go, try, have faith. The magic is in the unknown. in letting go. You won't be able to love, until you want, need & hold on. Why don't you love, my love ?

Aren't all our problems, not real ? Doesn't all the trouble,  stem from not being able to  deal with our sadness ? Don't we do everything, just to make the sadness go away ? And then when it's walked to the corner, don't we do everything we can to get it back ? All our problems come from not understanding , accepting, loving our sadness. We fill silence with words. We fill our loneliness with forced company. We hold back tears, just to keep the smiles going. Go where ? Why aren't we happy just being, right where we are? Don't we know already, that we might never reach anywhere, ever ? All our problems, aren't problems. Our sadness is all we've got. -9th Dec 2017, 1 AM

We all have our ways  to keep our sadness at bay. Some run, some jump. Some laugh it off. Some eat and grow fat  and then they eat some more and then they get more sad. Some don't eat at all, until they're fed. If we could just look, into each others eyes, and wait. Wait, untill there's nothing left  to be said. and then wait some more. Until our eyes have done the talking. We would smile then. As our silence will be heard, and our sadness would have spoken. - At the beach, Dubai, Oct 2017.

How badly I miss, looking into someones eyes.  How I miss that glance.  Waiting to meet someone the next day, just to check if she was feeling the same.  Wondering anxiously yet in a pleasant way if she were thinking of you too.  Besides creating things, the only pleasure I find is in experiences. Experiencing connections, listening to stories, communicating sans words, walking under sunlight filtered through dancing leaves, the silence of a cold lonely night, hearing the sea throwing itself on rocks being teased by another distant rock reflecting wondrous milky shiny light, hearing strings vibrate to weave colors behind my closed eyes, making someone smile when I journey to the center of their lonely lovable hearts, seeking things way out of my reach only to find them right at my side, fighting for love and loving to fight, trying to hold on to the fleeting & delicious taste of a memory, the sad activity of failing to remember what I'd want to ...

I saw you. I saw you like I'd see anything or anyone else. But then I waited. I paused to really see you. See through you probably. And right before you took your eyes away, at that moment, I really saw you, I saw what you wanted, I saw what you craved for. I could never explain what it was. But I saw your eyes and they told me something I bet you didn't know you were saying. They told me what you want, but you never tell. Silence does speak. Time, when we leave it to itself, does things you and I would want to but never can. Think about it. Let it stay and settle. It'll probably go away. Or it will stay. It's fun to wait and watch That way we don't pluck out the flowers we find beautiful. We let them stay and bloom. And we watch time. Without really knowing What it's doing. To us.

I saw the dice at home, while you spun away the night. 2 others stayed at home, and I couldn't stay another minute that night. Picked up some old books from a over- filled shelf. but nothing to eat in the fridge. Cold salad, forced bread crumbs and empty plates. A beautiful sketch of her on the wall, forever shall be etched in my memory. She's beautiful I know. I wished with all my life if I could see her in real life, in front of me, in your arms, or around you. The way you said she'd make you smile and both your eyes would glitter. I wanted to see it. I want to see it. I still do. I saw the dice, In the middle of the room. Center table. Artsy furniture. A house almost prefect. Almost full. Without the two of you. Am sorry, I don't want to add to your sorrow. Nor your trouble. Sometimes my house seems broken too. My walls scream out terror and I sit crying in a corner. I love you. I want so much more for you. From you. I want just a little more acceptance and lov...

Its a flight into this coastal towns cool and calm winds swaying with the sea breeze. The highs and the lows rising and crashing right at your feet. Angels smiling, eyes glittering as they pass by. With toes seduced by soulful tunes played by kindred spirits around fairy lights, welcoming farms and open markets. Kind suspicions, gentle whispers, loud hellos and long good byes. Its a flight of fancy into the hot sands lit up white by an eager moon and a constellation of clever celestial beings, blissfully observing this dance. This flight through freedom.. -22.2.2016 -Nandu completed this.

Man, stop shouting at me from outer space. Yes outer space. It might happen in an instant that your beautiful face would land up on my lap. But it took years for us to get here. Miles of earth was dug up to lay down terribly strained and stretched metal wires. We pierced mother earth at uncountable places and kept digging till we found little gems which helped us make batteries which help you stare at things you don't need to, for hours altogether. Yes, we weren't even subtle at the time when we decided to screw each other's time up. We are quite serious and increasingly elaborate and creative every time we decide to waste each other's time. Throw shit at each other, wherever and whenever we find it convenient. We've made up a place and populated it with more people than some poor countries. Don't shout at me from outer space man. And please for god sake, stop sending me pictures of your body. It might look slightly different from mine, slimmer, slenderer and...

Your - 'self'. Not yourself. But that secret unique entity. Your most special secret. Confined and unreal but ever present. Eternal self. The one which would live on after you die In white transparent mist. Your ghost, soul, atma or prana. You, your 'I', Your individual beyond the man, woman, animal, creature, beast or organism. But not the one I see. The one only you know. Am concerned about the conversations you have with that entity. That personal being. Known only to you. Am talking about the relationship you have with your self. I don't want anything to do with it. But it would be nice if you let it out sometime. Sneakily, secretly. And we can speak of it sometime, that relationship which you have with you. That would be fun right ?

A dream, a wish, a desire far fetched if it is so. May a cow roam free. In the wilderness. May it get to act wild and live free, with it's tribe. No noose at her neck, however loose, no bracelet. May a cow come back to her senses, her smells and feel again, her hearty teeth. Chewing strangely as it only can. While staring at the empty horizon, cluttered with a mind full of foul memories, of bondage and of separation. Of a change so dormant and drastic, That it would no longer be able to recall, how it is to be a cow. But let's keep faith. That there will be a cow, and a loving calf. And a beautiful sunset at a relatively uninhabited space, where a few animals can roam freely. Having rid the burden, of knowing so much, having so little or anything at all. May a cow roam free. Truly.

Too bad I write sad poems? Back in my nation, hate is still being peddled for power. At a lot places on the planet, fear runs rampant. Families being torn apart, innocents murdered. Selfishness, greed and other vices heighten full power. Knowledge being distorted, dumbness celebrated, worrying predictions seem ready to be proven true. If one had to worry, one would have a plate full. A plate full of fears and anger and anguish and a glass full of tears too. Too bad if I write sad poems too often ? So what if my family too can't get along well sometimes? Issues unresolved, troubled by a tough past, toughened by the distance of present times. We're still trying. And that's what matters alright. That will always be of prime importance. To keep trying. To make an effort. The rest can be left to faith. And the will to handle, to bear, to solve and to overcome, anything that comes our way. Anything and everything that comes our way. Let's not be too troubled. Let's not ...

I felt something when I saw you today. I got a glimpse of you. I know you saw me too, This isn't poetry. If it is, it's bad poetry. I'd want to put down my thoughts. But I don't. Instead these days I go with the flow. I am changing things about me, trying out something new. I keep changing, sometimes deliberately, mostly unknowingly. I want you. I've wanted you in my life ever since you've left. Seemingly so. I hope you haven't turned into someone who doesn't like me. I hope you haven't turned into someone I don't like. The second one I dread more. Am not rich. Not too successful nor hardworking. I just keep playing. and I keep paying my debt to the truth. Keep trying, trying to balance . To stay stable and surf some tides. Who are you? Please give us a chance again. You know there's truth, Where there is truth. Or maybe it's just my truth. But that I don't believe, I believe that the what is true is the only truth. I wa...

Spawned across all of the forgotten pasts and endless futures, my love and my spirit is infinite. My heart holds all the love and pain for all the universes, the ones we can fathom and the ones we cannot. All of them, t hose which can be and those which were. I encompass it all. Yet, as sure I am of that, I also know for sure that I am nothing. Just energy dancing around fleetingly. Everything and nothing at the same time.

You're not you. You're not what you're made to believe you are. You aren't an introvert, a foodie, a coffee person or a morning person. You aren't a workaholic, a wanderer , a cunt , a slut, a revolutionary or a nerd..You're nothing. You're ever changing. You're everything and you can be whoever you wish you are. Being unsuccessful isn't bad. Being successful isn't the only thing you can be. You can be you. Incomplete. Always in the making..Never complete. You're a work of art and don't treat yourself as anything more or less but that.. OK . you want to be something.. someone .. that's OK too.. all of us want to..Too..Were all the same. Stephen Hawking , Albert Einstein, Mahatma Gandhi, Newton, Plato, Steve Jobs, Rabindranath Tagore, Satyajit Ray, Karl Marx , all of them were and are people just like you. Just like all of us. Yes ,Marie Curie, Frida kahlo, Alan Turing and mother Teresa..All of them .. they aren't. Super human , ...